Friday, 19 August 2011

Tenacious E

I am knackered.
We are knackered.

Looking after Edie isn't particularly difficult and there isn't really one part of this father routine that's hard.
Its the sum total of all the parts.
Its relentless.

The parent amongst you reading this will probably have sniggered by this point and will undoubtedly be thinking
"Yeah, and?" and those who know Karen and I will definitely be thinking "What did we tell you?"
The non-parent reading this won't know what I'm talking about.
And I don't wish that to be condescending.
I genuinely don't think you will.
I didn't until it happened to me.

This week has really been a test and I know its been hard because, for the first time ever, Edie has really got on my nerves.
I felt awful as a result, but I was lifted when Karen stated on Tuesday that she could have "thrown her out of the window today"
I have no patience at the best of times, in stark contrast to Karen's patience of a Saint.
So to hear Karen say this proved to me that it was a testing week.

I initially thought the tiredness was due to lack of sleep, owing to the fact that Edie had taken to shouting and fidgeting around in the middle of the night. We wondered what the hell she was doing, making the cot bang around like it was, but it was too dark to see. When this racket acted as our natural alarm clock on weekend mornings, I was able to covertly film what she was up to.
"Slam Dunking" Karen calls it [clicky link]. The best ones are about 2mins 30 seconds.
Please believe me when I say the audio doesn't really do it justice.
I would say "you had to be there" but having you in bed with us would just be weird.

So, the decision was made that, against the childcare recommendations, Edie would be going in her own room. Karen and I have talked about how much and how quickly shes growing but the move to her own bed seemed to reverse all that. She looks so tiny again.

 She has moved room without a bit of drama and now sleeps a lot longer through the night. So that was the sleep deprivation argument through the window.
Which naturally leaves the waking hours to blame.

There was a time where she was too small to leave on her own, then she grew and we were able to leave her in her swing or play mat for longer and longer periods.
And now shes grown again and has become more alert, which means she gets bored we are back to being unable to leave her to entertain herself.
Her new favourite (read least favourite) activity move is rolling from her back to her front.
She does this continually, repeating the same routine.
Roll. Scream cos she doesn't like being on her front. Get turned back over.
Roll. Scream cos she doesn't like being on her front. Get turned back over.
Ad infinitum.

There are rare occasions when she is happy being there and of course, I have a photo.

And this I think is where the problem occurs. Its just knackereing being on the go every waking hour.
I know I get some relief by going to work but its not as though I'm sat there doing nowt (work colleagues need not comment on this satement).
THIS is the hard work parents talk of.

And, to top it off, we have a poorly dog to care for.
Olive has a torn cruciate ligament and goes in for surgery on Tuesday.

And, to top that off. We think Edie is teething.
When will it ever end!?!


  1. It won't last forever. It won't. It will get better. It will change. Soon when Edie is crawling and walking you will forget that this time happened. I feel for you both. The sleep deprivation is awful and being unable to even go to the loo in peace is frustrating, but it won;t last. I would say it gets easier, but don't bank on that. Parenting changes with each month xx

  2. I understand entirely! it's relentless and you are right, unless you've been there there's no way of comprehending just what a slog it is especially if i may add when you are as amazing at being parents as you and Karen are. It is because you care so deeply about your child that you are feeling this way, you want her to be happy and entertained and grow up loved and secure. Although it's so tough now it will be so worth it when Edie grows up to be as lovely as her mum and dad. The slogging part is something that people don't talk about, like how painful childbirth ACTUALLY is, not just the pushy pushy bit but the hours of agony before hand! it's probably just as well people don't talk about these things or the human race might just die out. You're both doing a brilliant job and i hope once loki is despottified that we can all have baby days together, lots of love Rach Z xx