Sunday, 7 August 2011

Swimming through a sea of rules

Hillsborough Leisure Centre at 09:00 on a Sunday morning.
4 months ago, I would have laughed at such a thought.
But, there I was, amongst the "don't get my hair wet" Mums and the "football related tattoos" Dads.
Me and Edie.
"Splish Splash in The Beach Leisure Pool" - as much screaming kid action as you could suffer, all for £5.

I've not been to a municipal pool for ages.
I suppose it wasn't as bad as it could have been. It was packed, but then the kids are off, so I shouldn't have been surprised.
There appeared to be quite a few babies already there. As is customary in these situations, everyone is watching everyone else, in a kind of "who's the best at this parenting lark" type way.
I wasn't bothered by all that.
I was more bothered about having my shirt off in public, for the first time since I spectacularly let myself go.
There were a few weighty specimens, bobbing around in the pool, but with valid medical excuse.
Mainly that they had just given birth.
The nearest I have to a medical condition is an over active drinking arm and an out of control addiction to Pork Crunch and Galaxy Counters.
I had taken a rash vest to cover up with, but Karen assured me I looked alright.
Plus, this was no Fistral Beach. Even if the wave machine was on.

Anyway, Edie appeared to be completely indifferent to her first visit to the swimming pool.
She just spent the whole time eating her fist and looking blankly.
I suppose it was all a bit overwhelming.

Its at this point that I would normally insert a picture of Edie, having fun at her first swimming pool visit.
A picture for prosperity or to show her when she's older maybe.
But the worlds gone mad, hasn't it? It really has!
I can't take a picture of my daughter for the family album, because in doing so would render me a paedophile.
Or so you're led to believe.
But no-one knows what to believe anymore.
I blame the Daily Mail.
Councils banning Christmas, Christians cant wear crucifix's, Union flags cause offence, and a whole other load of over hyped shite, taken to heart by the average man in the street.
So, what we are left with?
A nonsense set of rules, adopted in haste, in fear of being un-pc.

Q How do you confuse a Daily Mail reader?  
A Tell them that asylum seekers are the natural predator of paedophiles.

And what am I left with?
Having to resort to capturing this moment in my daughters life with a picture inside a changing cubicle.
(which in my mind, appears far more "seedy" than stood in a packed public building, pointing a camera at my daughter, for all to see)
I've finished ranting now. So here's the picture

Cut to 5 minutes after getting out of the pool:

Those 40 lengths were really tiring.
And here's a couple of pics taken in a watery environment, where we don't have to hide away the camera!

Get your glasses, this ones taken in 3D

I hope she grows into a girl who loves swimming, just like her Dad (who loves swimming, not who's grown into a girl - though some would argue!!) 

Until next time x

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