Thursday, 8 September 2011

Cheesy Spiders

3 weeks -vs- 36 years and Edie already has a more sophisticated palate than me.

After a few weeks of watching her attempt to chew off her own hands, we decided to seek advice in relation to weaning. As with everything in the field of medical advice, the guidance changes at an alarming rate.
Current guidelines now state that a baby should be weaned no earlier than 6 months, as opposed to the 4 months mark, suggested 3.2 nanoseconds ago (I exaggerate, but then I always do!)
The Health Visitor discussed the issue with Karen and gave sound advice which made good sense to us; the outcome being that Edie was ready to try [semi] solid food.

I have worried about this.
I am worried about this.

Those who know me well will testify that at best, I'm a fussy eater.
At worst, I wouldn't be out of place on Freaky Eaters.
Whilst I'm not quite in the situation of being limited to a diet solely made up of MonsterMunch, if I'm being honest, I could manage on such a regime. Not beef though. It would have to be Pickled Onion as they are my favourites. Closely followed by Flaming Hot.

If there is ever a future Freaky Eaters programme whose title was "Man lives on diet of Heinz Spaghetti Hoops" then make sure you watch it.
This will be my 30 minutes of fame.

Now Karen has been warning me, from ante and continuing into post natal, that my fussiness WILL NOT be transferred to our child. The same goes for irrational fear of spiders.
"I'm not having you pulling a face and turning your nose up at food, whilst we all sit at the dinner table"
Seriously. How can I not?
As a 36 year old, I have a "list" of food likes and dislikes, just like anyone else.
I guess I dislike more foods than most but less than some people I know.
I like to think I sit somewhere between a human dustbin and a MonsterMunch obsessed loon.
Admittedly, some of my dislikes are a little strange to some. I'll let you decide.

Fine in omelet but not poached. And certainly not hard boiled.

Manageable if finely chopped, cooked and pureed but never uncooked and whole.
Definitely not ketchup.

Pig based products
Sausage and bacon (a recent addition) but definitely not Pork Chops

These are just a few of what I think could be considered strange but these are nothing compared to the reaction I get when I state my dislike of the devil in food incarnate; CHEESE.

"How can you not like cheese?" is a question I'm often asked in wonderment.
Easy. Its effing horrendous.
I'm allergic to the stuff.
The look and smell of it in all its ghastly forms makes me feel physically sick.
Karen informs me that Edie "will love cheese"

Just as I will love retching at the dinner table, just from being in its presence.

Thankfully, cheese is way down the line in the weaning programme.
We started with carrot. I would say Edie found the taste of carrot "surprising" but then again, so would (and did) you if all you'd ever known was milk.

Whilst her little carrot munching face was amusing enough, this was nothing in comparison to her first taste of fruit.
I now make a brave statement.
If this doesn't make you laugh, or at least smile, then;
(a) There's something wrong with you
(b) I'll give you a pound.

Click here for the video I like to call "Edie and the Apple"
(There's audio for extra amusement. She made noises we'd never heard before)
And if you enjoyed that, there's a different but longer version here.
By the look on her face, I think she might be like me after all.

And if she's not, there's always these to try

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